My pet hate is football

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I am fully aware of the fact that I am not human. I've got four legs and ten teats; I am covered in hair and I love a good scratch. Don't worry, I am a dog. Would you be surprised if I told you that my pet hate is football?. I am fed up to the back teeth, sick and tired of it. Why?. Because I will never get used to seeing my sweet, lovely and enchanting owner swearing like a trooper.

Football is supposed to be an entertainment, an amusement, isn't it?. Humans sit in front of the telly, put their feet up and get a kick out of it. My owner doesn't. She suffers intensely. She gets carried away by the excitement and – one of these days- she is going to have a heart attack and kick the bucket.  Between you and me and the  lamppost, she is not a spring chicken anymore.

For me, watching a  football match is like watching paint dry. It bores me to tears and just when I am starting to doze off, an outburst of shouting wakes me up.  It's me who is going to have the heart attack. Not only does she utter an endless list of swearwords but it also gives the two-fingered salute. Amazing!. What a foulmouth!. By the way, what an interesting language!. Spanish, I mean. How many different words for the same thing!. Anyway, try as I might I will never understand why it makes her hit the roof. Humans can be so primitive and simple.

Nevertheless, come what may I will always be by her side. She will always have my wholehearted support. She will always have my shoulder, or rather my furry back, to cry on.

There is football tonight...again. What a drag!. What the heck have I  done to deserve this?.

   
© Plataforma creada por Alfonso Hinojosa - Profesor de Inglés de la E.O.I. de Santander